Public Speaking is one of the most important skills a person can develop. It is not a single skill but a diverse array of skills that is highly transferable between jobs and areas of your life. Logical thinking, managing distractions, adaptability, authentic presence, a voice that encourages a listener to think ‘go on’, remembering content and flow, building rapport, juggling tech (visual aids, audio, a mic perhaps, virtual meeting rooms), dealing with ‘nerves’, holding the attention of the room, being seen, recovering from ‘mistakes’, Q&A…..these are just some of the many skills at play. Why do our hearts pump and mouths go dry?! Because, yoh! It’s a lot – all while trying to seem in control and discern if the wardrobe malfunction is only in your mind.

Some love it, some avoid it, some grin and bear it but we can all learn to do better and ride the waves with more skill.

I want to share with you one idea that has helped me over the years to feel grounded and connected and enjoy the experience of public speaking. Whether it’s IRL or virtual, university students or corporate – I find this idea so helpful because it’s simple and all about reframing the narrative for a more empowering experience.

I heard this phrase from my dear teacher and mentor Mark Rittenburg many years ago. He told a group of students, who were about to present Haiku poems they had written, to look around at each other. “The enemy is not in the room”, he said. “When you get up to share, you might feel your heart beating faster. Say then. It isn’t because there is any danger. I am safe. The enemy is not in this room!”. Big communal exhale.

Encouraging this kind of self-talk is a first step to interrupt what we might be doing to ourselves. The sympathetic nervous system response to speaking in public can be a cycle of responses and reactions, which keep us in a loop of flight, flight, freeze, flop or freak out. Stepping back and consciously telling ourselves that, right now, there is no enemy to be afraid of…..means I am free to interpret the physiological effects of standing in front of people, differently. And that, essentially, I am safe and therefore free to be here more fully.

I lightly think this thought. I let it land. I soften. I smile. I breathe in and sigh out. Repeat. The enemy is not in the room.